Assertiveness is a mindset, that is demonstrated through our behavior. It is also a skill, that can be learned, practiced, and improved upon. It is not about “getting what you want”, it’s about having your desires be a part of the conversation, alongside of and as valued as anyone else’s.
Not to downplay pampering, but self-care is more than taking bubble baths and drinking hot tea. We often take a narrow view of self-care, seeing it as spoiling oneself or indulgence, perhaps even in ways that are counter to long term health.